Something I felt long ago, became something relevant once more.

So what do I really do? I was a gymnast who stopped being a gymnast and became a full time student. But all that creativity I was generating non stop from 10 years of my life, suddenly became clogged up. The massive outlet had disappeared. I was unplugged. I lost myself.

I didn’t understand how much gymnastics had influenced me until I began looking for different forms of expression again. The obvious one was dance. I found myself a nice dance studio in Downtown and continued taking ballet classes. But that wasn’t enough. I went to the gym, that wasn’t enough. I started playing the piano, that also wasn’t enough. I read a lot, shopped a lot, partied a lot, studied different languages a lot, traveled a lot, listened to music a lot....but nothing was enough! What’s happening? I was thinking to myself. Is my life over?

That is when I discovered...a completely untouched, precious....I’m a writer and don’t have the ability to describe how quietly, how gently, and how discreetly and not invasively this creature crept upon me. This creature, this love, this gift.....was the ability to write!

I didn’t know it right away, I didn’t feel it right away. But it became the focus, the cove of my existence. The cove where I brought my daily treasures to at the end of the day. Where I collected precious memories, adventures, and gems of thoughts. Filling up notebook with poems, longer poems, longer longer poems, eventually short stories, longer stories, all kinds of dreams and fantasies that amplified the beauty of my reality. When I reached the point of craving feedback, I opened up my own Blog under the pseudonym Roxalana, called Cafe de ChiChi.

There I started recording some of my oddest works, letting my closest friends and furthest relatives read it. One thing that I found is when you start working with one talent like writing, you are creating and energy bubble of creativity and many other art forms come to your attention. Just of recently I’ve also become interested in voice recordings, and finally edited my first hypersonic video from scratch! Being a human being is all about managing conflict. External conflict starts with internal conflict not being diagnosed at the sight of it’s first symptoms. If we could all find something that heals and helps us be more happy positive knowing people, and think writing can be that one thing for everyone.

I decided to include it as part of my PCDP for managing conflict. What I didn’t know was that October was not going to be a good month for me. And the harder I tried the harder it became. So I let go, and it turns out that’s exactly what I need at the moment. Once November rolled around. My fingers were typing away again, and I felt the force of sense behind my life return to me once more.