Based on an article I've recently read, 1 out of 4 kids refuse to go to school. Some blame it on a misplaced pimple in the morning, others complain about their teachers, the :mean girls", the awkward lunch lady, or the intimidating vice- principle. Sometimes the occasional quiz comes up or they blame it on a terrible (hair-dryer induced) headache, or blush powdered inflamed cheeks; but when you start to notice a pattern in your child’s “refusal to go to school” behavior, it’s time to start doing some serious thinking.
School phobia, is now being categorized as an anxiety-based disorder. Sometimes it is hard to tell the difference between your child constantly lying or constantly telling the truth but there is a difference between “school refusal” and “school refusal behavior.” When your child goes to school but ditches class to go hang-out with friends, it is categorized as School Refusal Behavior.But when your child goes to school, and then leaves for the house in an hour, or simply doesn’t go at all; this is a sign of School Refusal or another way of putting it ""anxiety-based absenteeism."".
Understanding your child is crucial in this situation. Because kids are not as verbal, sometimes too vague, and still can't always interpret their emotions clearly enough to help themselves, you will need to get help for them. Such behavior can take a drastic toll on your career and on family affairs.
Here are a few things Amanda Morin and I find crucial in the process on helping your child understand their fear and emotions.
1) Investigate what is going on in the school. Make sure you child has a comfortable and open relationship with you in the first place, if this is not true then you have bigger problems to worry about.
2) Check if the school cares about your child. Contact other parents and ask them what their children tell them about their experiences at school. If many children encounter the same problem with the same boy/girl or maybe teacher, then that just simplifies the problem and the time it would take not to have done that otherwise.
3) After you have found and solved the problem, try to get your child back into school slowly. If they still can’t sit through the whole day, try encouraging them for half. Give them time to adjust, and start trusting their environment again, if they are still uncomfortable or suffer from high anxiety or other problems, it might be time to start looking for alternatives.
4) As I mentioned before, a child who does not want to leave the house, and does not want to interact with other children might have his mind set on something else. Now, I am not saying that there aren’t geniuses for who school is gruesome to sit through and they prefer to stay at home and start working on their own mural, or solving one of Einstein’s theories, but the case is that many kids are depressed, uncomfortable and simply unhappy in the environment they were put in.
5) SO make staying at home more tedious then going to school. Take away video games, limit food, music, television, and other conveniences. If they start to rebel- hand them a book, if they rip the book -it’s time to start saving up for psychiatrist.
6) If you have free time take the opportunity to reconnect or connect deeper with your child. These moments are very important. They might just secretly miss you and what to be around you as much as possible :)
-HTH ( Hope This Helped )
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