We are often told that if we have these feelings it is a sign that we are scared and weak when in reality we are becoming Fassster, Stronggggger, Pain Resistant and EXPLOSIVE!!!!"
My journey to Ukraine began with Eva Green. A week before my departure I rediscovered the eccentrically serious and extraordinarily self confidant French actress, who began her career with a magical performance in Bertolucci's controversial 2003 film, The Dreamers. A tale of incest, cruelty, erotic conflict and teenage experimentation,set against the background of 1968 Paris student riots. The film being fueled with psychological games revolving around the three characters obsession with Nouvella Vague Cinema, provided an opportunity for each scene to be sculpted in favor of elucidating a moment in art history.
I knew the film had reached its artistic peak, the moment Isabelle (Eva) resurfaced from the shower with nothing more than a bath robe around her waist, her arms cut off from her flesh as if she were made of stone,hidden by a dark pair of satin gloves in mergence with a black background, stoically standing at the door way, portraying the famous Greek statue of Venus de Milo. A hectic week of making deadlines, celebrations, and “packing-time” followed, leaving little time to further my new fascination with the actress. But....’Because I Believe everything in life is timed to the second, everything in my life BECOMES timed to the second....because of my belief in life! (Belief->Faith->Becomes->Through Time...) Anywayyyys....on a short stop to purchasing a few european power adapters before going through customs, I spotted the girl who I’ve been meaning to speak to for over a week now (geeez!), squished between Ms.Vogue, and Marie Claire on June’s cover of BAZAAR,
there she was waiting in WHITE HEAT miss eva green! Truly destiny. I boarded the plane feeling great at the prospect of finally having eight empty hours ahead of me- first in many many months. I pulled Eva out, put her on my lap, and there she was posing in an Yves Saint Laurent silk crepe dress, her marble arm gentle resting on the cascading mane of a resting lion. Avant garde ain’t avant enough! I read the first line of her interview “I gave birth to myself yesterday.” That was it! I’de had enough of convincing myself she didn’t exist! I finally found her! The psychotic twisted dark existential wandering artistic soul twin I was always abstractly in search for. Though really.......did i find you?....or you find me? nah.....we just kinda met. ;)
Speaking with Eva is like jumping from one iceberg of tangents to the next. Her thoughts are slippery, sliding, moving from right to left foot. Humor balanced, lightly joking about her lack of sanity when making important life decisions, interspersed with occasional burst of dark humor. Temperature of speech hot, hard, erratic, one moment solid and clear like a block of ice, the next vapor! shifting between states of matter, matter of importance, importance of time, need, emotion, and sensitivity towards all aspects of progressive self.
I don’t know weather it was the bold mindedness, or absentmindedness.....or the sugar rush i got from both eva and the mini bowl of Sour Keys i devoured before landing, but I was feeling quite invincible. When I touched down in Warsaw, an hour wait in line followed to scan the luggage before being able to board the next plane to Odessa. I noticed a thought kept on creeping back to me, one I had created back home, “Wouldn’t it be.....kinda...maybe...sorta...worth staying an extra day or two to explore a piece of Poland before doing Ukraine for the next month.” Hmmm. Always worth paying attention to those thoughts that seem to run by your radar far to quickly. My mother told me there was no plane leaving the following day. So I let it go.
During the hour wait -all of us being on connection flights- people were starting to get antsy, pushing, pulling, name calling, budding each other in line, kindergarten style. Closer to the front of the line I met an older woman, that was on the same connection flight as I, so I thought that if I stick with her, I would have a lower chance of missing my plane, and a higher chance of finding it to begin with! We walked through without any problems, found our gate, they weren’t boarding yet, so we grabbed a seat on the side....and “nachili baltatt” began to talk. She was also from Canada, ukr-born, living in Montreal with her son. We kept on talking talking periodically looking over to check when boarding would starting, continued talking and then mid sentence she hears her name being announced. We guess they were doing final boarding calls. Pick up our bags. Grateful and happy we walk to the gate, pull out our passports, and come face to face with 2 woman who had something rather important to tell us......
“Boarding time over. Plane has left the gate.”
TO BE CONT'D
Always Enjoy.
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