.......or mix the wet dough I am stirring in a counter-clockwise direction, or openly smile to myself when I am walking down the street, or cross the road without believing that someone will actually run me over and drive away..y?y?y?..because I am in Ukraine!!!
The land of old culture, superstitions, little laws, little penalty's, wild party's, home made Samohonka, half built churches, stables that turn into kindergarden centre's, old trees that resemble monsters, slutty girls who write beautiful prose, well kept braids, summer parade's, parades of food food food and relatives relatives relatives! It is impossible to construct a sentence.....if you want to truly describe a ukrainian experience...without having the the words, food( fed) by crazy (relatives) and drunk(lots of drinking) in between family stories of emotional substance. This isn't a vacation, so don't bother "trying" to forget your problems and worry's, because here you will be reminded of Who you are. Where you came from.....and in rare cases Where you are going, by people who have known you......for your ever. (forever)
Heading back to Ukraine is like heading back to the birth of my soul's landscape. To a place where I had existed before I was even conscious of my existence. I have always been so curious, like those scientist that attempt to calculate that strange substance that existed before The Big Bang, the birth of our universe, but really a birth in general ....down to the seconds! What i've always known....is that i've always been on my way to coming back. Lucky me, the summer before university, the commencement of a new chapter in my life, like the foreword before a Novel, I have returned, only to learn, I never left.
In a way it's like entering the laboratory where you were created. Who created me...well.....the dear parents that sent me back to the laboratory instead of having to explain it themselves. Those are the big facts. The big evidence. But what about the little things like..." Who named you?" For me is was my father, about a week after I was born, driving me and my new earth mother home from the hospital for the first time to our home in L'viv, my grandmother posed a very smart question. ' Well....what are we going to name her?" My father replied Nastya (Anastassia), before my mother could say Julia.....and so she became....who named her first. :)
When I am back home, I am busy with getting ahead in life. Figuring out what I want, going easy, going hard, going with the flow, or stopping, and changing direction. Its all about movement....not so much about the object that is moving. Aka. The Mover. Everyone has a deeper nature. A nature that has ability's innate to the creature it governs. It is very rare to be given A TIME to slow down your pace.... A PLACE to take in your surroundings AND PEOPLE to reintroduce you to yourself. Listening to stories and flipping through sewn together photo albums of: my grandmother, her brother's, their wives, their lives, their children, my mother, her father, my grandfather, his father, their father, my father, me and my brothers, our lives, their lives...ETC. made me realize how much we're all sewn into one other's destiny.
When I came here I did not know anyone I was about to meet. My mother finds it tedious to explain who everybody is, i found this attitude very shallow at first, she always told me "One day you'll go and you'll see" ( in a very long drawn out, go away voice. :P) Well now I am here and I see, and it's because "everybody" means...a lot of interesting "US" that is not easy to sum up in words alone. No residual "uhhhhs!" at my mother. I understand her now.
But many residual "uhhhhhs!" at myself. I should have stuck to writing when I was here. So I m reopening my blog! More to come.
Always Enjoy ;)
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